Is spiritual dryness and life turmoil normal after starting catechism?

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• − opinion#3233 1 likes at the source

  Doesn't surprise me at all that this is happening. The demons hate that you're joining the Church, so they'll do whatever it takes to make things look hopeless. I'd take this as a chance to pray more and hold onto your morning and prayer rule, however short it is. If you need to adjust it for now, talk to your priest about it. Remind yourself that God is in control of your life.
• − opinion#3234 1 likes at the source

  In my own experience, when we come to Christ, who is the Light of the world, the darkness in us gets exposed, so of course we feel worse than ever. It hurts but it's necessary, we need this to gain humility and obedience so God can work on us. In Orthodox understanding humility is "the correct understanding of oneself", and honestly admitting I'm sick isn't easy, because it goes against the pride and ego I picked up from this worldly life. Obedience matters too because we patients need to listen to the Great Physician, God. I'd say talk to your priest first, and remember, don't rush, be patient, problems along the way are normal. When I see how bad I am, at minimum I say "Lord have mercy" and start again. St Paisios taught: "God loves your effort, not your perfection." Just my simple opinion, God help us!
• − opinion#3235 1 likes at the source

  Yep, totally normal. When I started catechesis I got hit with TMJ problems so bad I couldn't sing for a while (I'm in the choir and singing has always been my thing). PT eventually fixed it since it came from a neck injury, but the timing of me being silenced... I just don't believe that was a coincidence.
• − opinion#3236 1 likes at the source

  The enemy has license to try to stop you from becoming Orthodox by making things inconvenient. "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Matthew 6:33. Notice it doesn't say seek first good feelings, popularity, a good job and so on. Jesus asks you to let go of worldly ambitions, and unemployment is a good chance to do that. Several times before my baptism I went to bed with no money for food the next morning and no idea where money would come from, but I was trying hard to seek the Kingdom and His righteousness, so I simply had to let go and trust that if God wanted me to keep going, food would arrive somehow. It did, completely unexpectedly. I literally went to bed planning to beg and scrounge the next day, and woke up provided for by the Holy Spirit through entirely unforeseen directions. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34. It's not easy, but it's clearly what Jesus asks of us. We have no control, and to be reliable tools of our Lord we have to accept we control nothing. As I understand it, it's not just about real faith but also about resource efficiency: keep only what you need for your current tasks, zero buffer (resources that could go to someone in real need instead of giving one person an emotional comfort buffer).
• − opinion#3237 1 likes at the source

  "Wake up every morning and thank God for everything." That's the advice a spiritual father gave me when my marriage suddenly fell apart. I was only working part time and my ex took all the money. A year of absolute hell on earth, but I did what he told me. When God brought everything I needed and more, my heart was ready to receive the abundance.
• − opinion#3238 1 likes at the source

  I've been attending an Orthodox church since February this year and became an official catechumen last month. Since then my self esteem has tanked, and this week I had my first ever panic attack out of nowhere, a stranger had to call an ambulance for me. I believe it's connected, those demonic forces are no joke :(

  • − opinion#3244 1 likes at the source

    I've recently started dealing with panic too. Sorry you're going through this, I'm praying for you.
• − opinion#3239 1 likes at the source

  It's a spectrum of time; things can hit from catechism through the first year or two after baptism/chrismation and seem especially overwhelming. The biggest casualty of my own conversion was my marriage. I see it as a tiny taste of what martyrdom is. I'm truly sorry for what you're going through, friend. But it won't always be this way; there are seasons of turmoil and seasons of recovery. If you try to view the current trial from the perspective of eternity, as St Paul does in Romans 8:18 ("For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us"), it gets a bit easier not only to endure ("But the one who endures to the end will be saved" - Matthew 24:13) but even to thank God for this trial, through which He is preparing you for eternity with Him. Life in the Church vs outside it isn't marked by less suffering but by understanding the meaning behind suffering. Someone who knows the telos of all suffering (removing what separates us from union with God) can undergo any suffering, even joyfully, up to torture and death, as the lives of countless saints show. So for now, force yourself to keep praying even when you don't feel like it, keeping in mind what you were made for, which makes it easier. God bless you!
• − opinion#3240 1 likes at the source

  The worst persecution hit me out of nowhere 1) during catechism, 2) when I was baptized and chrismated, and 3) when my son was baptized into the Orthodox Church. The devil does not want you drawing closer to God. Orthodoxy isn't easy. It's brutally hard, because it forces us to face ourselves honestly, deal with our hang ups and sins, and demands a constant life of prayer.
• − opinion#3241 1 likes at the source

  Almost every catechumen I've talked to has a story about everything falling apart when they started the transition. I grew up SDA, and they lowkey believe the original church is the antichrist. If not for the individual priest I met, I couldn't have made the transition comfortably. My then fiancé (now husband) and I decided together to become catechumens, and the NEXT DAY our priest reposed. I was devastated. That man had answered so many questions and accusations with such patience. In 4 months I'd accepted him as a spiritual father. He left a massive hole in my heart and I wasn't sure I could fully convert without his guidance. You're not alone in this. When life gets hard we want to let go, but you need to do the opposite and hold on tighter. Lean on your church family, get together with people, keep your prayers, talk to your priest, you WILL get through this.
• − opinion#3242 1 likes at the source

  I think unemployment is actually a good opportunity to devote more time to prayer and church services; I personally have to prioritise very intentionally so work doesn't get in the way. It also takes prioritising and discipline to finish morning prayer before work and evening prayer before bed, assuming you follow the Jordanville prayer book. I like to recite the morning or evening prayer first, which helps me reflect and empty myself, then pray about what I'm struggling with and ask God's help. I don't see why it would feel dry if you actually believe God hears your prayer and that the Holy Theotokos and all the saints intercede for you as you pray. Study is so you understand why an Orthodox Christian should think and act certain ways and can check whether your faith and deeds align, and they will if you truly believe. Prayer (and attending services, I'd argue) trains discipline, physically and spiritually, but it also restores the heart. If time is what you have most of right now, don't rush through prayer the way you might when running late for work. If you're in real financial hardship, maybe ask the parish for help. If something stops you, it's probably pride, and if we won't let go of it, what's the point of praying about it morning and evening? Unless you're too proud to do certain jobs, a disciplined and godly person should find it natural to get work again, not to…
• − opinion#3243 1 likes at the source

  The old (and cliché sounding) saying, "when it's hardest to pray, pray hardest". It's true for a reason. The prince of the air doesn't want you coming into the church, every soul in Christ is one less for the devil. He will fight.