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My sons' godfather left Orthodoxy for Protestant churches

The godfather of my sons has left the Orthodox Church and now attends two non-denominational Protestant congregations. He gives several reasons: he believes he cannot find a wife within Orthodoxy, he prefers the teaching of assured salvation, he feels he has not received what he needed spiritually from the local Orthodox parishes, and he is burned out, partly because his spiritual father was very strict.

I am speaking with him, trying to grasp his reasoning and to present the Orthodox perspective, but I find myself at a loss in many ways. The situation is harder because I now live halfway across the country and cannot meet him in person for at least six months.

Mostly I grieve for my boys. We chose this man because he seemed to be on a good path and would have been an excellent guide for them, but unless he returns to the Church that guidance is lost.

Perhaps I am writing this only to vent.

Main points

Godfather left Orthodoxy for two non-denominational Protestant churches
Reasons: cannot find a wife in Orthodoxy, prefers assured salvation, unmet spiritual needs, burnout from strict spiritual father
Author discussing with him but feels at a loss
Distance prevents in-person meetings for six months
Sadness for sons who lose their chosen spiritual guide

11 opinions in the discussion 9 participants, 5 replies to each other The opinion with the most support One of my college roommates' godfather left Orthodoxy years ago. Then he got hit by a truck crossing the street. His godchildren, who had never stopped praying for him, were the first ones at his hospital bed with icons and holy oil. He ended up reconciling… Read the discussion

27 comments at the source Original on Reddit

Discussion · 11

Opinions are anonymous retellings of real comments from the original discussion. The same colour marks the same participant.

opinion#2122 1 likes at the source
One of my college roommates' godfather left Orthodoxy years ago. Then he got hit by a truck crossing the street. His godchildren, who had never stopped praying for him, were the first ones at his hospital bed with icons and holy oil. He ended up reconciling and returned to the Church. So. Keep praying. Hopefully it doesn't take getting hit by a truck though.
- opinion#2128 1 likes at the source
  
  Yeah, I hope he comes back without something that traumatic happening first!
- opinion#2129 1 likes at the source
  
  This is the way. God has a plan for everyone. Our job is to love our neighbors the way God loves us.
opinion#2123 1 likes at the source
Hey man, the priest who received me into the Church left to live with another man, and not as roommates either. I get the confusion and the frustration. The best thing we can do is pray for people who need it, even if they never asked. It's in the Holy Spirit's hands. Take this as a reminder that any of us can fall away. Keep your prayer rule. Keep going to services. Keep reading Scripture. You'll be fine :) Welcome to the "We've Received A Not-So Friendly Reminder That Only Christ Is Perfect" club.
- opinion#2130 1 likes at the source
  
  That's definitely worse. I do take some comfort that he still attends a few churches that are traditional by protestant standards, to some degree.
opinion#2124 1 likes at the source

A godfather is backup in case the parents fail to teach the kids. As godfather to 14 boys and one girl, I can tell you my main job is praying for them. One died rejecting reality. Two decided we're tyrants and they're nonbinary, dropping their names and patron Saints and dragging their indulgent parents along. Others I haven't seen since infancy and they're over 30 now. Most are still in the faith, thank God. All you can do is pray for each other and make sure your own practice isn't slipping. Saving him isn't your job; being rock solid for your family is. Yes, he put finding a woman ahead of Christ; plenty who followed Him on earth did the same, as He Himself said. That doesn't mean they're doomed or abandoned. They've drifted onto an orbit heading away from the Light at our center that holds us in place. Elliptical orbits exist. His mercy is endless for those who truly repent. Treat it as a teaching moment for your kids more than a tragic loss (which it is). It's also a warning that no matter how much we attend church, where our treasure is, there our hearts will be. The World, the Flesh and the Devil all pull us to orbit something else in darkness while we tell ourselves we're following our light. O Gentle Light, shine on us sinners Thy great mercy!
opinion#2125 1 likes at the source
Sorry to hear that! How long had he been Orthodox before becoming a godfather? His behavior sounds a bit like an over-zealous convert who got into it too fast and then moved on to something else. Either way, that must be really hard on you all.
- opinion#2131 1 likes at the source
  Honestly I'm not sure, but I think he was Orthodox about as long as I have been, which is 8 years now. I can only vouch for 7 of those based on when I met him. You're right, it looks like church-hopping zeal, but he was in way longer than most who do that.
  - opinion#2132 1 likes at the source
    
    7-8 years in doesn't sound like an overzealous convert to me
opinion#2126 1 likes at the source

I've known several people who left the church. Some just stopped attending before they were received, others were communing members who deconstructed and then found Christ again in Catholicism. One convert in my godson's group quit the volunteering and email lists less than a year after her baptism and church wedding, so something bad must have happened behind the scenes. Beyond prayer, I think the key is not mentally shunning or giving the cold shoulder to your kid's godfather just because he's no longer Orthodox. Like David, who never disowned Absalom as his son, he's still family in some sense. So making every conversation about Orthodoxy vs Protestantism could be too tense right now. You don't want him thinking you only talk to him because you want him back, or that every chat is a do-or-die rescue attempt. Maybe your priest can help you figure out the best approach. In one case where I reconnected with a friend who left but stayed or rejoined another Christian denomination, I kept things mostly about how their life has been, and made clear the religious differences won't affect our friendship (same as with friends of other religions or none). Keeping that connection alive matters most, even if you're not as close, since that's just what happens when life takes two people different directions and they see less of each other.
opinion#2127 1 likes at the source

My godfather is solid, but two of his 8 or 9 godchildren (I've lost count) left the church. The first apostasized into Roman Catholicism because he wanted to marry an RC woman (before I joined the church). The second was a woman, my godsister, who seemed strong in the faith until earlier this year she just stopped coming and wouldn't answer anyone's calls or texts. Nobody knows exactly why, but my godfather thinks a protestant family member may have pulled her away. We still love her and pray for her, hoping she comes back. It's very sad when one of the Lord's sheep strays from the flock.