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Returning to Church After a Painful Priest Encounter

What the video says

The speaker addresses those who have stopped attending church because of a negative experience with a priest. He acknowledges that priests can be harsh or hurtful, and that they are human with varying levels of wisdom and humility.

However, he emphasizes that one priest does not represent the entire Church, which is the Body of Christ with 2000 years of tradition, saints, sacraments, and prayers. He encourages returning to church life by visiting different parishes and monasteries and speaking with spiritual fathers. The speaker shares that he himself stayed away for many years and considers it his biggest mistake.

Key moments

  1. 0:00 People stop going to church because of one priest's behavior or words
  2. 0:30 Priests are human and can be wrong, with varying wisdom and humility
  3. 1:00 One priest is not the Church; the Church is the Body of Christ with 2000 years of tradition

The speaker addresses people who have stopped attending church because of a negative experience with a priest. He acknowledges that priests can be harsh or hurtful, and that they are human with varying levels of wisdom and humility. He emphasizes that one priest does not represent the entire Church, which is the Body of Christ with 2000 years of tradition, saints, sacraments, and prayers.

The speaker encourages those who have left to return to church life by visiting different parishes and monasteries and by speaking with spiritual fathers. He shares his own experience of staying away from the Church for many years and describes that decision as his biggest mistake. The talk centers on the distinction between an individual clergyman's failings and the fullness of the Church's life, urging listeners not to let one person's behavior separate them from the sacramental and communal life that has sustained Orthodox Christians for two millennia.

The argument rests on the theological understanding that the Church is not defined by any single minister but by its identity as the Body of Christ, carrying the weight of two thousand years of prayer, saintly witness, and sacramental grace. By pointing to the availability of other parishes, monasteries, and spiritual fathers, the speaker offers practical steps for those wounded by clergy to re-engage without ignoring their pain.

Main points

  • People leave church due to one priest's behavior or words
  • Priests are human and can be wrong, with varying wisdom and humility
  • One priest is not the Church; the Church is the Body of Christ with 2000 years of tradition
  • Return by visiting different parishes, monasteries, and speaking with spiritual fathers
  • The speaker stayed away for years and calls it his biggest mistake
10 opinions in the discussion 9 participants, 5 replies to each other The opinion with the most support I hear you loud and clear. But I have a question: suppose I don't particularly like my priest at my church, but I still go. So two questions: am I at fault for not liking him, even though he represents something higher? And knowing I dislike him, am I a… Read the discussion
13 comments at the source Original on Instagram

Discussion · 10

Opinions are anonymous retellings of real comments from the original discussion. The same colour marks the same participant.

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  • opinion#980

    I hear you loud and clear. But I have a question: suppose I don't particularly like my priest at my church, but I still go. So two questions: am I at fault for not liking him, even though he represents something higher? And knowing I dislike him, am I a hypocrite for still going to the same church, even though most of the time I manage to set my personal human opinions aside and pray genuinely? Would love to hear your thoughts 🙏🏼

    • opinion#981

      You don't need to like everyone, brother. He might be too direct or you just don't like him in general. You could always go to another church, you know. We humans are fallible and act on emotions. Look closely at whether what your priest says is true or not. If not, then I'd encourage you to find another orthodox parish. Find a spiritual father who cares about you, loves you and understands you. Keep in mind that if you were in their position and did your best, you wouldn't be right for absolutely everyone either. We all come from different backgrounds.

    • opinion#982

      I saw a quote, probably from a Catholic, but it's still very relevant and it helped me get over the hump: are you upset with Christianity, or with a Christian? So now, whenever I feel upset in church or in an encounter with other Christians, I ask myself that question, and the answer is usually that I'm upset with a person, not with Christianity. Hope that helps.

    • opinion#983

      Thank you for your answer. But I was asking for an opinion. I know I love my church and my faith, but I'm not very keen on my church's priest. So I was wondering if that makes me a hypocrite, even though I manage to separate the two. But thanks again for your opinion.

    • opinion#984

      Keep up your spiritual work at church. That's our mission there, nothing else. It's not about the people who represent Christ. Those thoughts are evil spiritual attacks. Free your heart. Stay focused, dear, on your own work: confession, fasting, repentance and holy communion. Leave everything else behind!

  • opinion#978

    Church is the house of Jesus Christ. We go there for him, not for the people or the priest. And church is for sinners, not perfect people. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy. He comes with the lie that the church (the priest) isn't good, and that lie keeps us from going.

  • opinion#979

    I did the same big mistake too. You're right, you're so right, good for you for speaking up about it.

    • opinion#985

      Exactly right. We leave it all behind. Our spiritual work is what we're there for, and the priest is a human being too. He's the intermediary and carries the priesthood on him, whether or not he suits us. And let's not forget, he's human himself, with passions, and he'll make mistakes. Like all of us. So we leave it behind, and in the end we can also change churches so we don't judge or get into all that. Either we protect ourselves or we leave it all behind with forgiveness.

  • opinion#976

    I quit going once it hit me that most people who call themselves Christian are the most judgmental and hypocritical. Sure, on Sunday they act all holy, but by noon they're back to their old ways. A friend with good intentions invited me to a service once, but when I showed up everyone stared at me (I'm heavily tattooed), and not even the pastor, priest, deacon or whatever his title was made me feel welcome. And this from people who always say Jesus sought out the lost and the outcast.

  • opinion#977

    I stopped going to the Baptist church I grew up in because I got bullied and excluded for no reason. A church should feel like a second home, but it never did for me. I left and never regretted it. I still believe, but I've become really disappointed in Christians. My faith isn't based on people, but they still hurt me. Sadly I've run into the same thing at other evangelical/free churches too, especially Baptist and Mennonite ones.