Attracting a Woman Is Not the Same as Being Ready for Marriage
What the video says
A man messaged the speaker after one of his videos, saying he is trying to improve himself but sees more lustful men who don't have their lives together still getting girlfriends. The speaker answers that getting a girlfriend is not proof you are ready for a relationship, since many relationships are dysfunctional, end in divorce, or leave people miserable.
He says men wrongly think a woman will fill an inner emptiness, which places on her a responsibility she was never designed to carry. For a Christian man the order matters: God first, then purpose, character, and responsibilities, then the woman you are called to love. He quotes Matthew 6:33 and says the real question is whether you are becoming a man capable of loving a wife properly when she arrives.
Key moments
- A viewer messaged the speaker saying he is improving himself but sees more lustful men without their lives together still getting girlfriends.
- The speaker replies that getting a girlfriend is not proof you are ready for a relationship.
- Many relationships become dysfunctional, many marriages end in divorce, and many people stay together while miserable, so simply getting into a relationship is not the goal.
- Men who think a woman will make their life complete place on her a responsibility she was never designed to carry.
- For a Christian man the order is God first, then purpose, character, and responsibilities, then the woman you are called to love.
- He quotes Matthew 6:33: 'Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.'
- This does not mean becoming perfect before dating; instead of asking why others have girlfriends, ask whether you are becoming a man capable of loving a wife properly when she arrives.
- A girlfriend is not the reward of becoming a better man; becoming a better man is becoming the person God called you to be whether you are single or not.
A viewer messaged the speaker after one of his videos, saying he works on himself yet watches less disciplined, more lustful men get girlfriends. The speaker answers that getting a girlfriend proves nothing about readiness for a relationship. Many relationships turn dysfunctional, many marriages end in divorce, and many couples stay together while miserable, so simply entering a relationship is not the goal.
He warns against the belief that a woman will fill an inner emptiness. That belief loads her with a burden she was never designed to carry. For a Christian man the order of priorities matters: God first, then purpose, character, and responsibilities, then the woman he is called to love.
The speaker quotes Matthew 6:33: 'Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.' He clarifies that this does not require becoming perfect before dating. The real question is different: instead of asking why others have girlfriends while you do not, ask whether you are becoming a man capable of loving a wife properly when she arrives.
In the written text accompanying the video, the speaker says attraction and building a faithful, lasting marriage are two different things. He tells men not to compare themselves to men who seem to have what they want. A man should work on faith, discipline, integrity, and responsibility, prepare for the duties of marriage, and put God first while building his character and pursuing his purpose.
The closing line of the video: a girlfriend is not the reward for becoming a better man; becoming a better man means becoming the person God called you to be, whether you are single or not.
Main points
- A viewer asked why undisciplined men get girlfriends while he is still improving himself; the speaker says getting a girlfriend is not proof of readiness.
- Many relationships are dysfunctional, end in divorce, or leave people miserable, so entering one is not the goal.
- Expecting a woman to fill inner emptiness places a burden on her she was never designed to carry.
- The order for a Christian man: God first, then purpose, character, and responsibilities, then the woman he is called to love; the speaker quotes Matthew 6:33.
- This does not mean becoming perfect before dating; the real question is whether you can love a wife properly when she arrives.