Tzanetos Kavaliotis
YouTube
St. Silouan on Anger's Foothold and Loving Enemies
17:01
The video begins with the common experience of rehearsing arguments in the shower against people who are not there, identifying this as the "remembrance of wrongs" that St. John of the Ladder calls a nail in the soul and a foothold for the devil, citing Ephesians 4:26-27. St. Silouan the Athonite, who as a young man nearly killed someone in a brawl, became a great teacher that love for enemies is impossible by human strength alone but is a gift of the Holy Spirit given to those who ask.
The parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:21-35) illustrates that every grudge held is a hundred denarii set against the ten thousand talents God has already cancelled. St. John Chrysostom warns that refusing to forgive revokes our own pardon and that revenge wounds only the one who rehearses it. Christ on the Cross prayed for His killers, and Silouan's practice was to pray for enemies by name before feeling any love, trusting that grace follows constrained prayer.
The saints offer six concrete steps: pray for the offender by name, do not let the sun go down on anger, replace rehearsal with the Jesus Prayer, examine one's own pride first, remember the disproportion between debts, and hand justice to God (Romans 12:19). Peace comes not from winning the mental argument but from the prayer "Lord, as you prayed for your enemies, teach me to love mine."
Key moments
- You stand in the shower arguing with someone who isn't there, replaying the perfect comeback fifty times in your head, in the car, at the gym, lying in bed, each time winning but coming out shaking with jaw tight and heart beating fast over something that happened three weeks ago, three years ago, or when you were twelve.
- The Church and Scripture name what is happening: St. Paul writes to the Ephesians, "in your anger do not sin, do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold", a place to put his foot in the door of your life.
- St. Silouan, a monk on Mount Athos and one of the greatest twentieth-century teachers on loving enemies, began as a young Russian peasant enormously strong and quick to fight who once struck a man in a brawl and nearly killed him.
- St. John of the Ladder calls settled anger the "remembrance of wrongs," the consummation of anger that pays rent in the soul, naming it "poison of the soul," "worm of the mind," and "a nail stuck in the soul" that hurts every time you move.
- St. John Chrysostom preaches that revenge is not against another but against yourself: every replay makes you suffer in sleep, prayer, peace, and health while the offender feels nothing, and you thrust the sword into yourself by being revengeful.
- In the parable of the unforgiving servant, a debt of ten thousand talents (impossible to repay in a hundred lifetimes) is cancelled, yet the servant refuses mercy on a hundred denarii; St. John Chrysostom says refusing forgiveness tears up your own pardon and revokes the gift.
- St. Silouan teaches that without the Grace of God we cannot love our enemies, because human strength alone makes it impossible; that love is a gift of the Holy Spirit given to a soul that asks for it.
- The saints give six steps: pray for the offender by name before you feel like it, constrain the heart and grace follows; do not let the sun go down, hand anger to God each night; stop rehearsing and swap the argument for the Jesus Prayer; accuse yourself first, seeing the pride the offender only revealed; remember the ten thousand talents cancelled beside the hundred denarii owed; leave justice to God, taking the case off your docket (Romans 12:19).