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Stop Porn Now for Your Future Wife: Orthodox Men on Marriage Readiness
11:37
What the video says
Two speakers discuss young men coming into the Orthodox Church, many of whom carry pornography addiction from growing up with little guidance. They describe how men who quit porn can fall into pride, judgment of women, and bitterness when they fail to find a partner, and they warn that blaming women as a group signals something wrong.
The speakers urge men to stop pornography now for the sake of a future wife, to focus on their own sins rather than condemning others, and to prepare for marriage by becoming worthy of the spouse they want. They also speak about marriage as a deep co-struggle where sins against one's wife are most frequent, and how a man's sins or love vibrate outward into his family.
Key moments
- Many young men are coming into the church, raised with little guidance and exposed to pornography, which rewires the brain and becomes a burden they carry.
- Men who overcome porn can move from sins of the left hand to sins of the right, becoming prideful and judgmental toward women, sometimes influenced by red pill content about body counts, and growing bitter when they cannot find a partner.
- The moment you blame all women and put them in one box, something is wrong; a woman with anything in her past can also repent, and a man who repents can be a good king worthy of a queen.
- Stop pornography now for the love of your future wife; thinking you can stop after marriage is a terrible idea, and neuroplasticity makes relapse easier the longer you watched it.
- One speaker watched porn nearly every day from sixth or seventh grade until his freshman year of college; you are forgiven when you repent, but the damage of the sin remains.
- Orthodox saints focus on the evil within themselves; do not hold a repentant person's sins against them, because you will be judged by the standard you judge others.
- You come into the church fleeing evil in the world and realize you are the problem, since the only thing you can control is yourself; focus on your own sins, which is a full-time job.
- Ask honestly whether the person you want would want you in your current state; Father Josiah Trenham advises making a list of qualities you want in a spouse and turning it inward, because you attract what you are.
Two speakers discuss the wave of young men coming into the Orthodox Church, many of whom carry pornography addiction from growing up with little guidance. They describe how porn rewires the brain and becomes a burden men bring with them into church life. The speakers then address a pattern: men who quit porn often fall into a new set of sins, becoming prideful and judgmental toward women, sometimes shaped by red pill content about body counts, and growing bitter when they cannot find a partner.
They warn that blaming all women and putting them in one box signals something wrong, and that a woman with anything in her past can also repent. One speaker shares that he watched porn nearly every day from sixth or seventh grade until his freshman year of college, and notes that while you are forgiven when you repent, the damage of the sin remains.
They urge men to stop pornography now for the love of a future wife, saying the idea of stopping after marriage is terrible and that neuroplasticity makes relapse easier the longer you watched it. The discussion turns to repentance and humility: Orthodox saints focus on the evil within themselves, and you will be judged by the standard you judge others.
Men coming into the church flee evil in the world and then realize they are the problem, since the only thing they can control is themselves, and watching their own sins is a full-time job. The speakers close with practical advice on preparing for marriage: ask honestly whether the person you want would want you in your current state, and follow Father Josiah Trenham's advice to make a list of qualities you want in a spouse and turn it inward, because you attract what you are.
Marriage is described as a deep co-struggle where sins against one's wife are most frequent, and a man's sins or love vibrate outward into his family.
Main points
- Many young men entering the church carry pornography addiction from growing up with little guidance; porn rewires the brain and becomes a burden.
- Men who quit porn can fall into pride and judgment of women, sometimes shaped by red pill content, and grow bitter when they cannot find a partner.
- Blaming all women signals something wrong; a woman with anything in her past can also repent, and a repentant man can be a good king worthy of a queen.
- Stop porn now for the love of your future wife; stopping after marriage is a terrible idea, and neuroplasticity makes relapse easier the longer you watched.
- Father Josiah Trenham advises listing the qualities you want in a spouse and turning the list inward, because you attract what you are.